Thursday

Balcony Muse

It was the cologne I think
I have this thing for the way something smelt.

So all the sterile, forgotten leapt back in intense colour.
I had to stand there for a moment, and fight for control.

The fuel and green fields, merciless sun.
Nothing on our mind.

A train thundering overhead
And a lazy cigarette in the bridge below.
Dangling legs.
Peace.

The intensity in everything you said and did.
Wall flowers on my library book.
3 am on a watch tower.
Blue smoke and minimal rooms.

I miss you.

I missed you while we sat there
And I looked at eagles from Prax
And pretended you didn’t exist,
While all I felt was intensely alive.

And on odd mornings,
Dire straits. A sunny balcony.
A busy street outside,
And me – with the day to myself,
I think of you and

I learn to grow old.
Gracefully.

Tuesday

Infinite possibilities

A garish beach track mixed with an infurating digital voice that screams 'Its time to wake up' 'Its time to wake up' breaks the morning air.
I hit the snooze.
Silence.
There can never be a pleasant alarm clock sound. Ever.

The proverbial tomorrow is dawning over a yesterday hangover. I can feel yesterday still pulsing in my head. It can’t be time yet – it just can’t.

In inalterable regularity, almost merciless - the digital display mutely blinks, morphs into the next number – instantly the alarm scream rents the air again. 'Its time to...' - a trained slap shuts it up mid-shriek.

Slience.
The held breath turns to a sigh - muscles relax, the air stills - Deep hush.

I could be the only one alive on earth right now –
The bed is warm. The 7 am sun is streaking all over the curtains where last night's headlight patterns faded on and off – in the drowsy irregularity of nighttime traffic. A page lazily lifts on the half read book beside me and falls back again. A spider makes a slick move on the ceiling.

To be alive – alone, without a thought or need, lightly treading the boundaries of the harsh world of waking up, its time to hover, lithly,
in that No man’s land of a misty in-between.

This morning floating feeling - its the 15 minutes of my life I’d kill for. It’s the only thing in the world that truly belongs to me - these lazy, unaccounted minutes of floating - to be random, delusional, unattached. To be free.

15 minutes of chasing cars.

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